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Saturday Night Live. Season 39: Episode 1: e-Meth

e-Meth

Meth Smoker #1	Like a lot of people, I love to smoke. But my friends and family always make me go outside to do it. So that's why I now use... [ he holds up electronic pipe ] e-Meth. It's crystal meth, but it's electronic, so it produces vapor instead of smoke. And that means I can ride the ice pony... anywhere I want. [ he puffs and smiles ]
	[ cut to Meth Smoker #2 ]
Meth Smoker #2	Smoke is a social thing for me. Without my meth pipe, I don't know WHAT to do with my hands! [ he twiddles his thumbs ] But now I do know what to do with them: I smoke METH! [ he lights up his pipe, puffs, and chokes ] It's good!
	[ cut to Meth Smoker #3 ]
Meth Smoker #3	Thanks to e-Meth, now I don't even need to leave the bar to get the sweet shabbu shabbu. Mama can smoke that chunky white crunch anywhere! At the office... [ footage: at the office ] At the grocery store... [ footage: stumbling around the grocery store ] In a bathtub in the middle of the road... [ footage: bathtub in road ] Or facedown in a big ol' tire. [ footage: facedown in big tire ]
	[ cut to Meth Smoker #2 ]
Meth Smoker #2	And it's healthier because it doesn't contain antifreeze. But... it still has that great meth taste.
	[ cut to Meth Smoker #1 ]
Meth Smoker #1	e-Meth lets me get totally gakked up on woop chicken, without yellowing my teeth. [ he pulls out a tooth ] See? Perfectly white. [ he holds the tooth to his ear ] What? Hello? This is he.
	[ cut to Meth Smoker #2 ]
Meth Smoker #2	Thanks to e-Meth, I can now even smoke inside my favorite restaurant!
Homeowner	Excuse me, Sir? You can't smoke meth in here.
Meth Smoker #2	[ laughing ] It's okay -- It's electronic!
Homeowner	I don't care! You in my LIVING ROOM... and you NEKKID!!
	[ the Homeowner chases the half-naked man around his living room ]
Announcer	e-Meth is not for everyone. Talk to your doctor if you experience body rash, face swell, painful death, or fatigue.
	[ cut to Jesse Pinkman from "Breaking Bad" ]
Jesse Pinkman	e-Meth. You know it's good, 'cause it's blue, BITCH!
	[ fade ]

vapor	пар
the ice pony	сленг - стеклянная трубка, сосуд для употребления наркотиков
twiddle	вертеть, крутить (бесцельно)
shabbu shabbu	японское блюдо - нарезанное мясо и овощи, к которым подается соус для макания
shabu	сленг - наркотик Methamphetamine Hydrochloride
chunky	1) короткий и толстый (о полене, ломте и т. п.) 2) коренастый (о человеке) 3) мохнатый, лохматый, ворсистый 4) содержащий кусочки; комковатый
crunch	1)  хруст; скрип, треск 2. (разг.) решающий момент; перелом; кризисная ситуация   to come to the /a/ crunch - приближаться к развязке   when the crunch came - когда наступил решающий момент   in the crunch - в кризисной ситуации 3) (the crunch) фин. ограничение кредита 4) грызть с хрустом   the dog was crunching a bone - собака грызла кость   to crunch biscuit [toasts] - грызть сухое печенье [поджаренный хлеб] 5) хрустеть (на зубах) 6) раздавливать   our feet crunched the gravel - у нас под ногами хрустел гравий 7) скрипеть, хрустеть (под ногами, колёсами)   the snow crunched under the wheels - снег скрипел под колёсами
gak	наркотик: speed, meth, twick, crank, methamphetamine, Desoxyephedrine
whoop chicken	наркотик:  methamphetamine
rash	сыпь
swell	1) возвышение, выпуклость, возвышенность; холм(ик); пригорок   swells and valleys - холмы и долины 2) припухлость; вздутие